** part three

Depression and anxiety is very common in academia, so don't ignore it!

**part two

I was a nervous, but I presented and it was actually very good. I spoke after the presentation with some people (some other PhD students and some professors) they all said my work is good, no one has criticised me, people were nice, of course they made some suggestions (which was very good).

The best thing now is that I'm not afraid anymore of public speaking about my research!! You should not be afraid off because there is nothing to be afraid off! No one will eat you. When people see some mistakes, they usually gently and politely mention that.
So you should go to conference, group meetings, any kind of exposure and start talking to people about what you are doing.
Maybe don't do a oral presentation on the biggest conference straight away, but start with the poster, or just even a group meeting presentation is a great start. People are there to advise you.

I also think is a good idea to see a counsellor about your anxiety and start MEDITATION and SPORT

I started a blog about my struggles during PhD and I've written about dealing with difficult supervisor or depression during your PhD studies. Is a very good way of releasing your feelings, so I would highly recumbent everyone to start one !

** part one
Everyone is panicking at the beginning!! I hated presentations!! I was always thinking I don't have enough results, or someone will ask me a question that I could not answer, or I will not be able to explain what I'm doing... and so on. The best recipe to overcome this 'fear of exposure' is to expose yourself. Just step out of your comfort zone! I know it's hard. I went through it as well.

A year ago my supervisor (who is not longer my supervisor and I'm very happy about that) told me to do a presentation on local conference in my field. Everything would be perfect apart from the fact that some of my data did not make any sense. I was trying to an advise from him, but he was never able to have a useful conversation about any staff that I was doing during my PhD (that's why he is not my supervisor anymore). I still had to present!! I was terrified. I asked a few close friends from my research group to go through my slides and I practised my presentation in front of them (but not my supervisor). The night before when I was practising, I bursted into tears (that was like a panic attack) because I had all those negative thoughts!! I told myself 'Ok it's just 15 min presentation and then we will see'.

I'm at my last year of PhD, so in theory, I still have some time to finish. I also started to panic recently. The best advice that I have received from one of the post docs in the group was- read other, recent PhD thesis from your field, the best even from the same group. I've read 3 of them and this made me much calmer. I always thought that I have not enough, but when I looked what other people had in their thesis, I think I actually have something and still have a bit of time to add more.

The thesis is never perfect, and what I've seen, people usually say a few sentences about what they think should be improved and because of time and money constrains they were not able to accomplish that. No one has been failed for that...

Sometimes you think your skills are not transferable, but they really are. I attended the course at my uni about applying for jobs outside academia, and I can share my experience with you

I had some similar issues too, mainly because of my old supervisor but also because of being far from my family, leaving in a country where it rains 300 days/year and so on.

I write a blog, so if anyone what's to have a look.

Hey,

I have changed my supervisor two months ago after being 15 month into my PhD. I have to say it wasn't the nicest part of my PhD and it was quite stressful for me becauseI had to go to my second supervisor and tell all the bad things (although true) about my first supervisor and there were quite close collaborators. I had to write official complain and prove that his supervision was not with university standards. So I have gathered all the email I have send to my supervisor asking for help or advice (that he had never replay to) all comments from him on my reports (4 month, 9 month, annual report), all other kind of email from him that I have found quite offensive, basically anything that could prove that he is not a good supervisor. So the complain was like 'a story' describing how his supervision look like with appendixes (emails, reports, paper). In my case there were also other student form my group who wanted to do the same, so it was a bit easier. Although, it was still difficult because my second supervisor was trying to keep me working with my first. I ended up going straight to head of graduate school and head of institute with the same complain and finally after talking to all those people I had my supervisor changed. Of course when Head of Institute spoke to my past supervisor he was saying that we os amazing, spending loads of time with us and did not see a reason why we were complaining.

The were also consequences... Because I have chosen a different supervisor, I had to write a proposal what I want to do next and how it's gonna match up with what I was doing during first 15 months. I have spend around 4 weeks to plan that. My old supervisor is now trying to make my life difficult (my and other people who have left his group), trying to block our research. He has even email my new supervisor saying that I'm unprofessional and he is actually happy that I'm not in his group anymore! He did the same to my friends! This is not nice, but we are all supported by Head of Institute and our supervisors. For a surprise even my second supervisor is now supporting me completely!. So everybody now can see through his lies


It's better to change supervisor now, then regret it till the end of your life. For me that wad the best decision that I have ever made.

I your supervisor is one of 7 type that I have described on my blog, change him as soon as possible!

You are not alone, there are many student like you. We have wrote a blog post about that. It's not exactly related to your situation but maybe you will get some ideas how to deal with situation from here

Hi, I know that the post is quite old, but many other people is looking at it all the time. i'm doing a PhD in quite a big and diverse group. We have this idea about writing a blog, so more people can know what we really do and how PhD life looks (outside the lab).
We basically write about everything, days out, rising kids, conferences, some collaboration. We've started a few months ago, but there is always something to read about :)

Please visit our blog: