Also, what is it about your lab environment that is “toxic” ? It seems ok to me at the moment now the other student have left, but maybe there’s something else worrying you? Hope you get to take a break soon

I agree with the above comments 100%! Are you far from finishing your PhD? Does their project impact on yours ?

I totally agree with you!

What I don’t agree with is dissuading people or telling them that their right to complain is an act of vengeance. Most importantly , in this case , Zena85 has already complained, it has already been done. This is about her getting a response from them, which is fully deserve seeing as they have already been through the pain of doing the formal complaint in the first place.

If it was a case of someone asking if they should complain in the first place, that’s a very complicated issue that requires lots of thinking and discussion. There’s no one size fits all piece of advice you can give. I’d certainly never push anyone to do something for the sake of other students! Hope that makes sense.

Ps not sure what comments you’re referring to RE the moral crusade thing ?

You’re right unfortunately that is often the case, which is why you have to be prepared to persevere and not let them ignore this! ultimately , if they do ignore this, they could owe you financial compensation wether they deem your supervisor guilty or not, and that is a language they understand. I think quite often they just hope that the person complaining will drop it as it’s such an arduous process!

Well, yes. You have to try. You have to assume that the university is not completely morally corrupt and actually wants to ensure they provide a safe place to work, therefore if you don’t alert them to the problem, they’ll never know. And once you’ve alerted them to the problem, it is their responsibility to investigate and then respond accordingly. The person who has gained their PhD under a bully has already lost a considerable amount. Punishment doesn’t even come into this anyway, I don’t see how lodging a formal complaint is not constructive. We shouldn’t be blaming victims for not speaking out for fear of making their situation even worse. And if the supervisor is afraid of losing something, then maybe they should have thought about that before they bullied and harassed their students.

It is SO important to hold a university to account for their actions, sometimes the safest time to do that is once you have left. This is definitely not a case of getting “vengeance”!! I’m a bit shocked that anyone would think that :S

I know you didn’t ask for praise but I think that standing up to your supervisors is very brave and you should be proud. Definitely chase this up, is there a student union representative you can liaise with to offer you advice ? It’s really awful that they have not gotten back to you in so long , and I know it takes a lot of energy but sometimes unless you really really push them and get lots of other parties involved the university will try to do nothing. Additionally , it may be worth seeking advice from the office of the independent adjudicator for higher education https://www.oiahe.org.uk/
Good luck and let us know how it progresses !

I’m sorry they are treating you so appallingly. Are you in the Uk? If so I would recommend that if you have completed your universities appeal process that you send your complaint for review to the Office of the Independent Adjudicator for Higher Education

Hey, I agree with the above comments, but I would also suggest getting advice from a trusted source, perhaps a student union or advisor who can listen to your issues and advise you properly. It sounds like what is happening to you is bullying and harassment , so I would suggest that if it is too difficult to so so now , upon graduation you could submit a formal complaint. If you wanted to take action to make things easier and keep you safe more immediately , they may be able to put in certain measures such as only meeting with your supervisors with a member of HR present etc. You deserve to be safe in the place you work.

I agree with the above comments as very good options, but to offer my perspective (which is a bit different!) I would say that it’s important to spend time with your family when you can. You miss your family , so if you can afford it , I would try to be with them. Like you say you could look for a job at home, if that’s what you think you want. The way I see it is we only have so much time in this life (sorry - getting morbid) so we should try to enjoy it and do what feels right when we can.

Congrats on finishing :) !

If you want to stay with him, and you want to get the PhD, you can make it work! :) these things can be tough but they’re only temporary. Have you had a chat with him and asked him what he wants or how he feels about it?

I’m sorry to jump in here , but to just give my personal perspective on this... When you are feeling suicidal and this is in part due to external circumastances. practical steps as to how to deal with the matter in hand (the PhD) are very helpful to alleviate some anxiety there and bring back a sense of control. Simply saying “forget the phd and get help” whilst very well meaning (and obviously it is very important to seek help of some sort!) can seem slightly aggressive and dismissive.

“Get help” - what help? Where? How?
“get help” - but there’s no available doctors appointments until next week
“get help” - I’m on a waiting list that goes on for months and in the mean time what do I do?!

I’m definitely not saying you’re wrong in any way, just in my opinion telling someone to not talk about the issues they’re facing until they have got “help” (that might not be readily available and is most likely oversubscribed and underfunded) shifts a lot of pressure back on to that person, who is asking for some support. Sorry I’m not the most articulate today, I wonder if that makes any sense ?

Sorry I didn’t see this message until I had pressed send on my message already! It’s good you haven’t been put off by this experience , I think a PhD is such a feat of resilience and if you have a will to finish it, as I said before , there will be a way ! Can you agree to do the corrections , but ask first if you can take some time off ? I think a clear plan forward and a break might be really beneficial. During which perhaps you can see your GP and put a bit more support in place for your return? Just an idea!

This sounds really horrible! And I completely understand the gut reaction you’re having to it. Definitely have an honest chat with your supervisors , if you want to do this PhD, there will always be a a way forward! Yes a PhD can be harsh on your mental health, but if it’s what you want , you CAN do it , you might just need a bit of support. I think you need to think about what you want and what you need, speak with your supervisors and let us know what comes of the conversation. It’s not easy , but you can do this one step at a time, we are all behind you.

Absolutely thrilled for you, you deserve this! And yes I agree with rest :) just wanted to say I’m really pleased for you.