Signup date: 05 May 2009 at 2:57am
Last login: 05 Mar 2012 at 10:09pm
Post count: 380
Cleverclogs is hillarious. Some of us sell conditional access to the contents of our minds. Some of us sell conditional access to parts of our bodies. Some of us sell both. I find it very interesting how people feel qualified to judge and make assumptions based on their own narrow minds.
I am funded but I am on a scholarship that is for those who just missed out on the 'big' scholarship. What it means is that I get 3/4 of the 'big' scholarship given, and then I have to work in the department for the other 1/4. I was told I missed out because for the 'big' scholarship you need to have an A+ average at undergrad to even be considered. I never thought I would want to do a PhD as an undergrad so I was out having way to much fun and working too many part time jobs to ever get an A+ average.
Anyway one day I was having a discussion with this girl who is on the 'big' scholarship and she was moaning about her funding not being enough. I explained what my funding arrangements were and she asked why I ended up getting that one. I explained and she said 'Well how on earth can you be capable of doing a PhD?' I was speechless! Goodness knows what she thinks of self funding students. She is, by the way now in year four and showing no signs of submitting. It's funny how people think they can just neatly rank the capability of others to do a PhD on account of how much money they attracted, and whether or not they got an A or a B average at undergrad level.
In my opinion success at PhD level is about so much more than being fully funded and having previous capability to perform well in exams. Having said that, I know having funding can certainly help make the PhD experience a lot more comfortable. I have huge amounts of respect for those who self-fund PhDs. I struggle as it is managing part time work and getting it done. I think it must take incredible motivation and self discipline. Anyone who looks down on self-funding students is just small minded and arrogant n my opinion.
I currently live in a 6 bedroom house with my partner, and five highly irritating flatmates. It's how I manage to afford holidays. It is impossible for me to work there, but since I have an office at uni it's ok. When I was on fieldwork though I shared a house with three others and managed to do some work in the house, and at other times I went to the local library and worked in there. It wasn't too bad doing that. In fact I probably got more work done than I do now!
PhDgirl -I think you need to rethink your post. It is fabulous that you can manage so well with your anxiety disorder but you should not judge others on the basis of that. This attitude is terribly patronising and self-righteous.
Mlis my thoughts are with you. Do what you can to try and get a little done each day. I have found regular exercise to be a lifesaver so would recommend that. Also counselling really helps too in my experience. I have actually never used meds and managed it this way, but have heard they can help a lot. Just do whatever you feel works best for YOU, don't let others dictate that - but try to reach out to people who want the best for you when you need support. Take care.
I know I am probably just being a drama queen here but I feel I need to get it out as it is really bothering me. I have been doing my PhD for two years and at the end of last year I had a really bad breakdown because of some personal issues. I really was a mess, and one of my supervisors was really supportive, but I didn't really talk to the other one. I had a real struggle but I managed to stay roughly on track although I am sure it was clear that I was a little unhinged a lot of the time. Ever since then I have been convinced the other supervisor thinks I am a complete looney and that I am basically just lazy.
I have to work 10 hours per week as a research assistant for them and the first supervisor gives me very interesting stuff to work on that will be useful for the future (that is meant to be the point in the employment bit - kind of like an apprenticeship. The other one has this undergrad student who she gives all of the remotely challenging work to and talks about her like the sun shines out of you know where. Now I think it is great that she is doing so well at such an early stage. Normally it doesn't bother me at all, although sometimes I get a bit irritated by it. Anyway today I was asked to do some extremely menial admin work for this research assistant who doesn't even have a degree yet (and no, she had no previous experience before her degree either). This bothers me. I just feel completely and utterly inadequate which may just be my own mental health playing up or it may be that it is actually a bit inappropriate. I am always second guessing myself so find it hard to gauge. Would this bother you at all?
Recently I seem to only be able to work around 2 hours per day. I have no idea how I manage to spend long hours in my office, but so few actually doing work. You would think i'd run out of activities to procrastinate over. I really am terrible. I don't know why i'm like this just now, it's not like I dislike my work, I love it! And I am under pressure to finish a book chapter I am writing for one of the leading academics in my field. I know how important it is, I know what a great opportunity I have been given, but everything I write just seems to read like something I would have written as a 19 year old undergrad.
I have been back from finishing fieldwork for two and a half months and it feels as though I've made hardly any progress besides a load of transcribing that is STILL not finished. Seriously what is wrong with me?!
I can't see how one year could be possible. I can only talk about qualitative social science research with a very hard to reach population group because that is my field, but I find it hard to understand these colleagues suggestions. Whilst the bulk of my fieldwork only took me 5 months, I had a lead in time of almost a year building relationships in the field, and trying out the interview guide with initial participants. This was essential for my topic; however I have no knowledge of what it is like to do a PhD with easier to reach populations, using quantitative methods, or in an entirely different discipline. Maybe it is possible in some areas, but certainly not in mine!
Thanks Sue. It helps to hear from someone who has been through it! That is a LOT of interviews, I bet it was a big relief to finish that.
I made myself a little motivation chart yesterday with rewards on it for milestones and pictures of the beach (where I will be next week!). I feel like a little kid but anything is worth a try!
I did do some of it as I went but it was hard as my fieldwork involved lots of nights out very late at night interviewing and observing so my schedule wasn't structured enough to get it all done, not in the 5 months I was there anyway.
But on the bright side almost there!
Thanks again for your reply.
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