Lads, Ladies,
Writing up a paper at the mo and I know I need to get work out there. But there is a problem. The supervisor's comments are at best, vague and too general and at worst, soul destroying and I have to wait for ages. I know I am not Shakespeare or Joyce with the English, but I do feel that it is at a stage where it would be "Accepted with editing". I still have a long ways to go with the research (reckon 18 mths), but I feel that I need to get this paper out. This issue is representative of a very tetchy relationship between myself and the supervisor and while I want to finish my PhD, I don't know if I have the balls to fight over this or bigger issues - I know I am right, but is it me that we are all scared of pi$$ing off one person? I really think he is using this paper as a means of forcing me out (if I don't get it published, out the gap)

Any advice would be appreciated. I am just using this forum to let out the frustration.

Kuman - sounds as if you have made up your mind, so fair dues. From the forum, ya can see a lot of us still are all over the shop.
Congrats on the job offer and in fairness, if the interest is gone and you do know what you want, the decision is made up. Yeah, chances are is that the initial time you tell the supervisor is gonna be frosty, but she should recognise that there is no point carrying on. If ever there is a positive way to leaving the PhD early, this is it - you are not leaving in spite or due to differences of opinions. And besides, the only person that you are ultimately answerable is yourself.

Talk to your supervisor - is there a way to finish with a Masters, doing it part-time? In that way, it is not the worst case scenario for both of ye and you prob. have enough to form the basis of this. Just an idea.

Congrats and good luck dude

======= Date Modified 28 May 2009 16:46:41 =======
CeCef,
Fair dues for even considering.
Best solution is that offer a revision class, but be specific. State you do not know what is coming up and even if you have seen the paper, say you haven't!!!
Also, as there is no way you can cover the whole course, state that they must say what specifically they want covered, and if applicable, from a previous exam paper. If no answer, well then maybe pick two previous papers and go thro' them quickly. Be clear - it is revision and not a tips session.
Also, make it known that you are doing this. To the lecturer, state that there were a few concerns from worried students and to the class, send an email stating a time and date and full instructions and to spread the word.
Hate to have the whole "This happened to me!" but got complained to the HoD for sending help to a distressed student. Sent an email a day before the exam and someone complained stating I was discriminating because the rest of the class couldn't access their emails. Get this - the complainer got an A- ... no pleasing some people.

Fair dues for at least considering the problem, but for fudge sake, protect yourself from any comeback.

======= Date Modified 26 May 2009 11:31:18 =======
Siwee - honesty only comes when it is returned. Some of the times ya have to keep your hands close to your chest, just in case things don't turn out as they should.


Ooooooooooh 2.5 years of this has turned me citric - just call me lemon ;-)

Ah Florence, taking it too much to heart!
If getting a grant or some govt. funding, next time heading out for a pint, just say "Thanks for the pint!" to the numbskull. Laugh it off or even better still, play along ... next put-down actually agree with him and make his argument look stupid ( a la Steve Martin in Roxanne). You don't need to explain yourself to anyone.

MH,
From a person who has learned from mistakes, if it is writing there are several texts, such as "The Elements of Style" by Strunk & White, but nearly everyone who has made the same mistake as me (2.5 years in and looking like only over halfways :-( ) , get writing to apply all the tips and get constructive feedback. It doesn't need to be from your supervisor, who maybe too busy (maybe a friendly post-doc or other friends in your dept.)
Sorry this doesn't directly answer your question, but building up an arsenal of texts is no good unless applying it, and for all I know, you are already doing this (if so, fair dues and keep up the work).

FNM - Great choice Sim! Epic is one of those songs to start ya up on a bad day (up)

Great thing about music is that it's everybodies choice and it changes.

Lads and ladies,
As music is perhaps one of the means to help a lot of us get thro' the slog (in both good and bad times), it'd be interesting to see a few opinions ...
What are the choons that keep people going thro' the slog? Is it a mixture and if there was an album/artist that got you into the work mood what is it?
What is the best site for streaming (Jango or Lastfm)?
Are the current charts just "euthenasia by audio" or does anyone really care?
Does the term indie have any relevance any more?
Does anybody else listen to metal (Mastodon, Opeth, LoG and Neurosis)?
Who is the best unheard of bands out there? Talking about cross genre here as not always listening to "Kill your mother with a shovel" music as my old housemates used to call it (post-rock, a bit of ambient)

Any other thoughts/inputs

FFS people - who gives a flying toss who is right or wrong? Man down here ... take the argument elsewhere.

Looie - Look, at least now you know how she feels about you, so that aspect is gone. Give it time and she will talk to you again. If you asked her in a dignified manner, and didn't shame yourself, hopefully things will improve in time. For the immediate future, just let it slide as regardless of your intentions, emailing and texting her can be misconstrued as harassment. Yeah, it is a shame that maybe the feelings you have for her aren't reciprocated but thats life. Of course its natural to feel like a bag of s*ite, but that'll pass ... you won't forget but it'll get easier.

Have you talked to anyone about this? If not, I would do so - a good friend, if possible a mutual friend, just to let him/her know that you are sorry. Nothing about possible meetings or that.

Immediately, go out and do what makes you happy for today. Ya need a few days to get over this so why not take a break - situation you are describing, you're not much use to the PhD at present.

Depends on field you are working in but I would go for full suit with the tie (and not a Mickey Mouse one ya got for Christmas). It is a professional display and perhaps the most vital in your academic life. I know most people are intimidated by wearing the god awful things, but you will have to admit that wearing one does give you that buzz that you are actually serious for a few hours ;-)

Of course, I could be wrong. Discuss it with your work colleagues/supervisor in a matter of factly manner next time ya meet him.

By the way - good luck and congrats for getting this far
(up)

SuperGenius - Missspacey hit it on the head - too many legal implications of a bad reference. Defamation of character extends to references (I think!)
Typically most references are written in standard format (time spent in dept., work done, general line or two on punctuality). Most times the supervisors are too lazy and will get you to type out a template and they sign it.

Possibly reading too much into situation and unless you really f**ked up, most supervisors will be ok (I think we place more emphasis on the personal relationships than the other way about).

This will not happen, but in the unlikely event of not getting the first post-doc post, ask why (you are entitled to).

shatha123 - Professor is priority full stop! If you have established a good working relationship, that is paramount ... facilities can be bought. A price cannot be put on established trust (and knowing how someone works)

As for the "rumour", what a piece of pish! Even if this is true, the time you will save from knowing where everything is in your college can be used to get a post-doc job elsewhere. You know the lie of the land and this will pay off in instances where you might need to chase up issues such as wages (you'll have Accounts on speed dial!!). As for the college being a Tier 4, in a PhD it is your work that is evaluated first thro' external means (journals etc.,). Forgive the analogy, but an excellent striker doesn't remain in the 2nd division - he will be transferred to the Premiership once his own value is seen.

I know this advice sounds cautious but a PhD is not a personal adventure - its a piece of intensive work and where any advantage should be utilised. Assuming you are young enough and keen to see the world, you'll get the travel in later.

Maybe you could meet halfways with your prof. Sit down and talk to him about it ... surely he will welcome your initiative and might go for co-supervision with you in another college (a drastic option but an option nonetheless).

Sleepyhead - you're in a pickle alright ... in one hand, you do have your PhD to think of but a friend is a friend. Was in a bit of a similar situation but think it has worked out.

If she is bringing back guys who you don't know, I'd be wary. It is a touchy topic and effectively it is really none of your business who she brings back, unless it is directly disturbing you (but from a personal view, I'd be a bit pi$$ed off with total strangers about the house anyways - you have plenty of valuable stuff and it is your house. You need your rest and also without worrying who is next door!). Do you know who she invited back the second night? If it is a total stranger, well then you need to know and let it then be known that, calling a spade a spade, as two women sharing a flat letting in total strangers is not on.

This is also crossed with your concern for her. Talk to her ... don't text or email ... talk directly. Make it clear that you are concerned for her and also that you need to know what is happening. There is also the aspect that if she carries on the way she is going, s**t will hit the fan and who will be the one picking up the pieces - you! (having to listen to Jeff Buckley/David Gray being blasted out). Don't put it off. Talk to her soon about it - don't drop hints or go about in a huff. Maybe have a girls night in with a bottle of vino and take the tension out of the situation. There is no doubt that it will be difficult and if she is not receptive, it will be worse. Is there any mutual friends you can talk to and find out a bit more? If she is your friend, you'd like to know how things are.

Find a new way to do work ... use a white board, a dictaphone - anything to change the routine.

Email friends you haven't talked to for a while.

Clean up the gaff

Go to the park and talk to the ducks - they probably will make more sense than most supervisors and will be "quack"er responding (sorry - TAXI!!!)

Scarlett - Just reiterating what the others said.
PAPER TRAIL!!!
1. Take minutes of EVERY meeting (set a simple format). Use this as the basis for every subsequent meeting
2. Set aside a specific folder within outlook for grabbing his/her email for easy referencing. This can be done easily by setting a rule in Outlook
3. Like point 1, email every major change said i.e. "As per our discussion this morning ..."

I know it sounds anal and not the academic way, but if it has to be done, it has to be done. Having the same problem here and was actually talking to another PhD-er y'day with same.

As regards your immediate problem of the review, call for a specific meeting to discuss this (with you having something to contribute). Possibly take the minutes for that and start this practice then.
Hope things work out.