Hey Wally, this is a hilarious thread! But this bit is reaaaallly funny....

'2 star = Pathetic Wannabe - like someone's mum trying to sing Barbara Cartland songs whilst blind drunk in a pub. They try hard but don't have what it takes.'

So does that mean they sing the text of Cartland novellas such as 'My Life Changing Hay-Stack Romps With a Macho Man While Dressed in a Pink Frilly Dress' (1982)? Or did you mean Streisand? ;-)

scuse me :$ helpful user?

Java, chuck, it's an anonymous thread on the big, wide anonymous internet, on a forum populated with anonymous people that may raise an anonymous eye brow, written by an anonymous individual (who was being silly), taking a break from his (to everyone else) anonymous PhD for the sake of just being, anonymously, daft about things. Apologies if I've offended your sensibilities (or if you're a fan of any of the celebrities whose names I have taken in vain) - this thread will disappear into the ether of past threads very soon anyway. It's not a serious thread; that's why it's in Off-Topics. In the meantime, you have a mouse or finger pad that will let you choose exactly what you want to read and not.
I don't know if you know but it is generally bad etiquette on (professional) forums to comment on the quality of the post made by the OP, akin to the old adage: "If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". You shouldn't be commenting on this thread anyway, cos you don't have enough stars. I've got four, which makes me four times more important than you :p

Bugger! I meant Steisand. Thanks Eska. It would actually be really funny to try and sing a Barbara Cartland novel even when sober! Saying that, having been bored enough to attempt to read a Cartland novel when I was younger (I'd get beaten up if my mates knew), I'd be willing to bet she'd been on the gin when writing some of them. They're as appetising as trying to eat a cactus. Really formulaic too. To be politically correct and not offend anyone though, she was a very talented and prolific writer, having authored 723 titles, and was both a strong political figure and media personality, who, this will get The Guardian on my side, requested that she be buried in a cardboard coffin upon her sad demise, to make amends to all the monkeys she had made homeless through all the printing of her trashy pulp (thanks Wikipedia!).

Well congratulations Walminski, heady heights eh! I hope the sustained campaign of begging and bribery was worth it. ;-)

Hi Walminskipeas, point taken, apologies.... I am at a low at the moment and being very grumpy, I shall stay away until I find my positive self again:$

*wonders in and looks around* - where's the party??? my best mate Bug told me that there was a party going on here and I thought I'd drop by - but I see I'm not actually invited being as I only have 3 stars and am therefore generally unhelpful and objectionable.

Having said that - I do have some inside info on Wally, Ruby and Bug that I am prepared to sell to the highest bidder, plus some compromising photos.... Now that they are stellar rated superstars I consider them fair game on the papparazzi circuit - mwha ha ha ha ha ha.....

So.... Wally, am I a helpful user??? *nods frantically*

That's okay, Java. I hope things pick up for you very soon. It is a stupid thread. I'm conducting what little positive energy I have to you through my Virgin Media Broadband. Please be warned, Virgin Media is crap and very slow, so it may take some time.:-)

Well, believe it or not, I happen to feel very comfortable with my zilch star status (cries hysterically in the corner)!

Actually, I take that all back, I've just found I have a star!! Thank you to whoever that was!

Well, Bono, my new celebrity mate suggested I be more philanthropic like him and help the poor, disadvantaged people while being ostentatiously pious at the same time, so I gave you a star. Please don't thank me because it's my job.(up) Trying to write a systematic review is horrible - Saturday, Bloody Saturday.

Has any one else noticed how really helpful and super-cool eska is?

I think we should all stop being greedy here, and alternatively start to think more about who we would really like to give our stars to for all their nice advice!

Lets make a change!!! :-s :-) :-s :-) :-s :-) :-s :-) Give stars to your favourites!!! WAH HEYYYY!!!!! WOOOOO!!!!!


Peace.

AAhhhh Cobweb! How lovely of you to say so. You'll be doing my kindly aunty, who is also my number one fan, out of a job if you're not careful. I had been feeling a little tainted after my semi disguised star soliciting had got me into the top 10, but now I think, yes, maybe I can hold my head up high. ;-)

I am really proud that I got my 4 without asking for them (cranes her neck and looks down at all others around her, and haughtily picks up a book to read, then slips in a pile of pride and has the legendary fall):$

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OOOOOoooooh Bug! The public's memory is not that short! I remember you being the first ever solicitor of stars: 'Please give me a star' was your cry not so long ago, back when you were a 1 or two starer; I remember it well, and if I didn't have such a tight deadline I'd look up the thread[s] on which you made your pleas. How quickly the journey is forgotten!