Christian courtship during PhD away from home

H

Don't worry jradetzky, I like you and would give you a hug even though you would run away screaming.

M

Oxford University has a very good counselling service on Wellington Square.

Maybe you could try them, Jradetzky?

S

Maybe you should write to 'J17' about your unrequited love problems...

J

Schizoid personality disorder on wikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder

Diagnostic tool:
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

Many famous persons throughout history have exhibited
schizoid traits. Some examples are Charles Darwin, Isaac Asimov, Bobby Fisher, Sigmund Freud, Stephen Hawking, Bill Gates, Karl Marx,
and Isaac Newton.

D

Heya, I dont think its a good idea to diagnose yourself courtesy of wikapaedia. Really, the best thing is to make an apponitment to see your GP. If your uni health centre is anything like mine, they'll have a counciling service at least, or a therapist which your GP can refer you to. It does sound as if you have some of the symptoms of depression, perhaps. To discuss it futher and yoUr options I think that you need to see a professional. Dont stew alone by yourself, its the worse thing you could do. All the best, D

U

Yeah, all the best.

No need to be depressed. You seem to be highly successful - imagine how many people received rejections from OXBRIDGE (including me but for BSc), so be happy - the future is yours

U

sorry, what I meant was MSc

J

Although I'm now comfortable at Oxbridge, when I first arrived I was kinda shocked to see people that were weirder than myself. Like a housemate who wandered the house silently and hid in the kitchen with the lights off just to avoid saying hello. Or a PhD student who rocks forwards and backwards while sitting and talks to herself. Or a classmate who spends like 10 minutes aligning his papers on top of his drawing cabinet before leaving the PhD office. Of course there are normal people around, but I would tend to say that the proportion of "special" people is higher here than somewhere in the UK.

T

"Special" people and these other 'weird' comments could be construed as quite insulting by PhD students on this forum who are from Oxbridge, so it is probably better not to make sweeping statements such as that.

J

Yeah, you're right. "You have a tendency to make sweeping statements" my supervisor told me the other day, so I'll be more careful.

I

I'm special

S

JRadetzky: echoing Sylvester and the personality disorder symptoms - I can relate to some of them too. I also relate to your high expections in a partner, and I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. It does seem a bit unfair when you can't find someone you think is right for you (and frustrating), but I don't think you should settle for something that doesn't make you happy.
Going way back to the start of your thread - am I right in thinking that you would be quite happy as a Christian if you could accept it intellectually? You said that Christianity expresses some things 'beautifully' but that you oppose Christianity. For what reason(s) do you oppose it?

H

I don't think the things you mentioned are particularly special. I reckon most people have their "thing". I actually fidget without realising and have a low concentration span (amazingly low). Had an argument with my bloke last night because he was telling me something that happened at work and he took too long to tell me (in my opinion) and I got fustrated and yelled at him.

My brother does the rocking thing and has done so from a young age and he's fine.

No one is perfect but it's obvious that people who are more developed in particular areas will be less so in others. This is why it is more noticable at places such as Oxbridge.

J

To sue:

Yeah. Settling for something that doesn't make me happy doesn't make any sense to me. I've never done it and although at times it seemed I was not going to get it, I kept on trying, waited a bit, and in the end got it. That gives my ego a big boost and feels even better than my recent "falling in love" experience.

About Christianity, I really buy all of what the Bible says about behaving oneself, NSBM, honouring your parents, loving everyone, etc. It's a very practical set of guidelines. However, I really oppose to the idea that God came up with them and that he sent Jesus to pay for the sins of a bunch of strangers.

C

been away for a bit (see leaving phd...) I have just caught up with this thread and its still made me laugh abit but i was actually close to tears at one point. jradetzky - go see someone, not necessarily a sexual counsellor but just a general one, yes you may have some sort of psychiatric problem but a very highly functioning one. I think that everyone who is on this thread could completely sympathise with your feelings of a broken heart and the fact that you felt that way - willing or not - says that maybe you have protected yourself in the past by your high expectations from what you dont know and are unsure of

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