but the thing is you felt that way and wanted to continue with it if possible (in a slow and controlled way - nothing wrong with control, maybe that was your attractio to someone who was more girl like - they wouldnt try to push you too fast, rather then the pedo implications made by other posts). I still think it will take you a while to find someone but thats probably a good thing because i dont think you're ready for anything until you have resolved your issues. I am an eternal optimist when it comes to love - i am sure you can find someone eventually and more importantly from what you have written, i belivee that you do actually want someone and that with help you will get past your 'clinical' approach to love. Hugs and kisses to everyone!!!!

p.s. i love that this country is so polite - there were a lot of comments that unintentionally (i hope) must have offended quite a few people - jradetzky at the very least - and yet even then, everyone politely expressed their opinion without being rude. Good luck jradetzky, x

To coastalchick:

Thnx for your comments. Yeah, I'll go to see my university's counselling service sometime next week. I've already filled out the pre-counselling format. In the meantime, I'll concentrate on fieldwork for my PhD, which fortunately will take me away from Oxbridge until next year, by which time I expect to be fine again. Yeah, you're right in pointing out that I'm for the "slow and controlled" approach to relationships, and hopefully I'll eventually find a like-minded girl that is not already taken.

Can I ask why you insist on calling it Oxbridge - it is two completely separate universities!! You are not at Oxbridge you are either at Oxford or Cambridge!!!

to clairet707:

Of course, everyone knows Oxford and Cambridge are two completely different universities. However, here in the UK Oxbridge is the generic term used for referring to both without specifing which one in particular.

so technically he IS at Oxbridge

I would have thought that students at either would hate being lumped in 'Oxbridge' - Oxford and Cambridge students would do their best to disassociate themselves from each other!

You should know, thecambridge, I mean thecoastman.

so what's wrong with Camford then?

I must admit all the Oxford-bashing goes over my head!

I didn't know there was any oxford bashing, ooooh!

Anyway, I guess saying he is from oxbridge rather than say oxford or cambridge, makes him that little bit more anonymous...

Right, I'm going to start saying I'm from Oxton if we're pairing up our unis with places we don't actually go to...no one need ever know I'm stuck in pants Soton!

My friend just says she is at Oxford, doesnt feel the need to mention a different uni to which she has no connection - they are 100 miles apart!!!

I think I might start saying Im at Oxton too - Sixkitten (Brighton / Oxford) - I like the sound of that - better than Brisex or Suston (Brighton / Sussex)

In that case I'm from St. Oxdrews..

I think Oxbridge is just a contraction of the two oldest and (debateably) best universities in the country, which are similar to each other in the way they work, and different enough from other universities to be regarded as an almost separate entity. It's just easier than saying "Oxford and Cambridge" all the time. A bit like the term Russell group is a catch-all for certain good red-brick universities.