Hi everyone

I haven't been posting much lately, and haven't even been reading the threads as all I've been doing is rewriting, rewriting, and rewriting. And starting a new job I hate. And coping with the news that my dog has cancer and is dying. And crying a lot, even before I found out about the dog.

But then - I've found the perfect job! My research is in a really niche area, and I've been keeping an eye on the market for the last couple of years, and so far have not found one single job I could apply for. But now one has come up - and my supervisor's involved in the consortium of academics who've won a huge grant. So - that's good too. I also have relevant industry experience, as well as this research job being directly related to my thesis. So far, so good.

But - the job is in my home town, where both my partner and I left 20 years ago. I'd be willing to go back - I still have family and friends there - but he isn't. He wants us to move somewhere else, which was my plan too, until this job came up. I can't commute, as it's too far away, and don't want to live apart - my dog has cancer and I don't want to be apart from her or my partner. We also don't want to uproot her, in what might be her final months.

So - does this look like I can't go for the job? Are there any other solutions? I've asked if I could do the job from my current city - which is not unusual in research jobs, but they've said no. I know I'll get really resentful if I don't go for this job - but I also have to think about my poor, sweet dog, who has sat next to me for thousands of hours as I've written, and also my partner...Suggestions? Sometimes I wish I was single, and could just do what I want to do...

Thanks everyone. Life is so s**t at the moment.

Update - well, I have next week off to write the thesis, which is good, and am also only going to work 3 days a week, so that eases the pressure a bit. But have found out that my dog has an inoperable, aggressive cancer - which has just devastated me. She's my best friend (after my partner), so don't how I'll cope. The prognosis isn't good either, but chemo might help....

Am going to miss my deadline, have to nurse the dog, and take it one day at a time...geez, life just keeps getting harder...

My third day of the awful civil service job, I burst into tears, and had to come home. We went to the vet's this morning, and we have to take the dog for an MRI - in another city 3 hours away. So, there's this thesis draft due in 10 days, a new job I have to learn and work at for 4 days a week, and a sick dog needing attention, and travelling time too.

It's too much, I'm just a wreck.

Hi AQ

That's nice of your dad to be helping you out - and am sure he'll understand you being narky at him. He'll forgive you, and then just be so proud of you!!

Yes, this really is the worst time. I haven't had such a bad time in my life, ever. And as we've noticed the closer the finish line is, the more other life stresses pile on too - jobs, parents etc. And now my old dog, who's been my constant thesis companion, is really poorly...on my first day back at work it was freezing here, with sleet, and I came home to a dog who's back legs have lost a lot of strength - I think the cold has made her arthritis worse. So I spent most of Saturday crying, hugging the dog, keeping her warm, and hoping she's going to get better...

Well, better fit in 45 glorious minutes of studying before I get ready to back to the hateful civil service job...

I have my supervisor's thesis, and her order is: TOC, acknowledgements, list of abbreviations, list of tables and figues, abstract.

Yes, well done Chris!!! Congratulations!! You're an inspiration. You've shown us that it can be done, despite all the personal and thesis-related difficulties. Make sure you give yourself a really big reward. Enjoy some time off!

Hi AQ

Not even the money from this job helps - I had to give up my scholarship when I returned to work. So instead of being a funded student, now I'm a civil servant doing a job I hate...but yeh, will add to the list, and just keep going...

Well, I've survived my first day back in the civil service - and I hate it. I know I found writing up really difficult, and isolating, and downright depressing, but at least I was working on my own work, doing what I wanted to do. The job in the civil service is hard, and doesn't interest me. I think of my uni colleagues who are piecing together careers in academia, and I'm stuck in a city where an academic career is not possible, so am doing a civil service job...seems so far away from academia...yeesh, when do the good parts of life happen? If nothing else, this new job will force me to look for something else in a decent city, and I might finally escape this s**thole...

======= Date Modified 01 Jul 2010 00:17:38 =======
Well done Chris! Even though you're exhausted, I'm excited for you - you'll be done in a few hours - wow!! Have been too busy working to check the forum and have missed seeing your progress, but am so pleased you're almost done. You're an inspiration Chris, you give me faith that I too, can make it through these last few months.

Hey Eska, sorry to hear you didn't get the job. But the latest feedback sounds useful, so at least it wasn't a complete waste. And I always think that each time I get a job rejection, that brings me closer to getting the one I'll ultimately get...

You're on the market, you have what it takes, it's only a matter of time...

Well, after 15 months of leave, tomorrow I go back to my old job in the civil service. It will be nice to not be a prisoner in this study anymore, but I also really still need the time to get this thesis finished. I've been working 16 hour days lately, bursting into tears every few days, but am getting there. By the end of today the thesis will be written, except for the conclusion, and all the data chapters, half of the thesis, will have been rewritten to 4th draft stage. So, I need to finish off the last couple of chapters, read the whole thing, edit it, and submit the complete draft in just over two weeks.

I would soooo like some time off, and have been fantasising about a holiday in a resort in the tropics. But that's not going to happen until September. So am going back to work, completely exhausted, and life will be even more difficult as I juggle work and writing for the last couple of months. I also worry that my supervisors are going to be their usual selves and completely write all over my complete thesis, and it will take me months to fix and I'll never submit, but I'll just have to wait and see what they say...

Thanks for your support everyone, the light at the end of the tunnel is definitely getting bigger!

======= Date Modified 27 Jun 2010 12:14:23 =======
Hey Jojo

Well done!! Congrats - that's excellent!! But I can understand the feeling of anti-climax - I think we're too tired to be excited about anything, even the prospect of finishing. I hope to be where you are in 3 weeks. My full draft will be the body of the chapters, without all the beginnings and endings to the thesis, so I have a looong list of things to do while my supervisors go over this. You might've already done all these things, but here's what I'll be doing:
- completing all references, and adding these into bibliography
- double checking all references against bib to make sure they're listed, and also to make sure multiple entries for authors are correct - examiners hate sloppy bibliographies.
- formatting headings
- formatting tables and figures, making these pretty
- double checking table of contents
- going through and making sure there are no spelling or grammar mistakes, especially checking my tenses

Hmm, I think that's it for the moment...Good luck!!

Firstly, second wave feminism has always been concerned with language and words - this is not a product of post-modernism/post-structuralism. It was 70s feminists who started the push for the use of non-gendered, non-sexist language. 70s feminists fought for equality on many fronts - in language, in philosophy, in academia, as well as for concrete gains such in education, employment, safety for women etc. A focus on words is not new. The 

Secondly, If it wasn't for 'navel gazing' feminists, how would we expect new ideas to emerge? Should feminists only be fighting for material gains for women? I think not. As Audre Lord said (who, btw, was an African American 1970s feminist), 'the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house' ie we need new frames of reference. Post-structuralism can provide this. Why shouldn't feminists study post-structuralism? Feminist activity is needed in every arena, not just the material ones. There are feminists everywhere, who work everyday, to make women's lives better. Many of these work within a feminist frame of reference, which may or may not stem from a post-modern basis, and loads of women do focus on making a practical difference to women's lives.

Thirdly, lots of leading feminist post-structuralists have used post-structuralism to theorise around difference, stemming in part, from their position as women from an ethnic minority background. Post-structuralism is definitely not confined to white feminists.

Couldn't keep quiet about these remarks. 'She was on her period' - ??? Excuse me??? What has that got to do with anything? This woman's biological functions have nothing to do with whether or not she was offended. It seems to me you don't know women very well if you think this isn't the case.

Secondly, wearing a short skirt does not make a woman a slut, a word incidentally, that is prejorative and value-laden. Women can wear what they want, express their sexuality however they want, and are not 'sluts'. Why is there no male equivalent to this word?? Because it's a way of controlling women's sexuality.

And thirdly - the little scenario about a friend in a short skirt going to a club and getting raped - how on earth is this relevant??

Your comments say much more about how you view women than does Slizor.

Hi Slizor

I think you need to find out exactly what this person was offended about - is there any chance you could have offended her on racist/sexist/religious grounds, even without meaning to? If so, you need to know what it is you said, so you don't make the same kinds of joke again. If your comment was really innocuous and the person is being over-sensitive, then you probably should still apologise for unwittingly offending her, not for the comment itself.