You'll be great jinkim, I'm rooting for you! :-)

At this point, I'd be tempted to go for option 3. That way you can tick off a publication in first year (with minimal hassle), and save all your phd work for future papers, maybe putting more of it together for a better journal. Even if the work is unrelated to your phd it's still valid evidence of your abilities, and I wouldn't pass up the chance for a publication if the timing's good.

The cabbages laughed "why should we be scared of you?" they asked, "you don't even know your own species!"

The cabbages tittered away, unaware that rabbit or hare.... both species were rather partial to cabbage.

A feeding frenzy ensured, with the hare tearing chunks out of every available cabbage, shredding them as though preparing for a guiness record attempt at the world's largest bubble and squeak.

I can't remember the last time I had a high energy, brain working day :-(

Good luck with powering through that chapter Eska!

Here's a similar one for you wally:

Put your hand palm-down on the table. Now try lifting each finger in turn - easy? Indeed.
Now, tuck your middle (sweary one) finger under, so the knuckle is right down on the table.
Try to repeat the finger lifting and voila, if you're like me your ring finger won't budge!

I'm told that some people can do it and some can't, it's related to shared tendons in the hand. Personally I just keep it as the excuse for not being able to play any instruments (nothing to do with being tone deaf, obviously).

So to summarise, you are thinking of turning down the career you want (academia) because you believe you'll meet more women in another (industry)?

Love can be really quite random, so ditching a good career on the basis of female availability seems rather daft. How do you know that Mrs Oulera won't also be an academic, or work in administration? Academics often network more widely with like-minded peers than those in industry as well. To be honest, I suspect your career is really a red herring in all this. If you want to improve the odds, there are lots of things you can do, none of which require you to shelve your academic aspirations (or letch on students):

First, get over these so-called soulmates. That may sound harsh, but if you're stuck in the past you'll miss the present, and nothing puts a woman off quicker than someone moping over unrequited love, it insults us and makes you look wet. Besides, if they were really meant to be with you you wouldn't have missed them, in reality, they're happily married to other men who they consider their true soulmates.

Next, do something! We don't expect the perfect job to come and fall in our laps, why expect it of a relationship? Join a club, a dating website, a singles holiday..... if you truly want love, get out there and look for it. The idea that only student life can give offer a romantic future is nonsense, I deliberately looked outside it when I wanted a partner. Yes, it may be hard starting out on the dating scene, but it can also be fun, liberating and a whole lot else, besides, did "it's hard" stop you chasing academia all these years?

Lastly, choose the job you truly love. Letting go of your ambitions "for love" will see you resentful and depressed later on. Someone who loves what they do and is passionate about it will make a far more appealing partner. Good luck!

Get onto your supervisor pronto emmaki! Don't let this escape just because of a jobsworth admin dept. If your sup can't kick admin up the bum they can write a letter for you themself.

Oh Mlis, this could have been written by me! Seriously, every damn word, and "duvet therapy" is just too easy and tempting when things are horrible in your head. Try not to beat yourself up with worries about the future or judgements of yourself, right now you'll be looking at all this through a very dark and scary filter - it's not a true representation of anything and when you're feeling better you'll see it very differently.

You're not lazy or retarded, or incapable of working, but you are painfully anxious and that's really affecting you. The worry and the negative feelings about yourself just make it even more difficult and overwhelming (who wants to attempt a task they believe themself incapable of?). Please do consider going to your doctor, and also finding counselling support. It's not a magic wand but just venting and feeling that someone's on your side and will help you is reassuring, and if you're open to medication or therapy, even better.

I'm working through it all now myself. If nothing else a morning therapy appointment gets me out of bed and out into the world. I find the lack of structure and accountability involved in thesis writing is pretty toxic after a while. I also know that, while I find going into the office a terrifying thought, it's actually so much better for me to be there, around other people who keep me out of my head and out of my bed. Do you have the option to work in uni or are you always home alone?

Hmm, it's tempting to say that he should just be honest with you and let you take a decision (it's certainly what I'd want) but I can understand him being wary of loading too much onto a new relationship. While it sounds a very convoluted situation - why would his friend's ill wife make you worry about him? I know it's tempting to read a lot in and be suspicious, but I have to be honest, I did that once with a guy who didn't call when he said he would, got odd texts explaining that "something" had happened and he'd had to go away. I thought "aye right mate" and told him, no hard feelings, let's just forget it. At which point he expressed panic and explained that his friend had been killed and he'd been back home with the family - I was mortified. I think what I'm trying to say is that sometimes, despite all our worldly suspicions, there can be a genuine reason behind odd happenings. If the guy is special and no one else comes along in the meantime, then there's no harm in re-visiting things a few months later (with a full explanation, of course). Just make sure it's not stringing you along and stressing you out though.

If it's on your mind then send a wee note apologising for the print error and just explaining that if it's not clear, the e-copy will help. I'm sure you won't get marked down for that, it's hardly the most important aspect :-)

Now go enjoy the work-free weekend!!!

I can sympathise Emaa, I've struggled terribly for a month or so. Today though I finally got some stuff done, two things helped:

1) My husband made me set a target and told me that if I didn't reach it on time there was a forfeit (such as folding all his laundry!). I like to prove him wrong and I needed someone else to hold me accountable.

2) Change your task. I feel that my phd is never ending, just plowing through endless pages. So hubby made the useful suggestion that I skip ahead and start drafting my discussion/conclusions. That way I know what I'm aiming for, and the end feels like it's in sight again. I always find it easier to fill in gaps than plod endlessly on.

Rats are good, and very sociable (much less nippy than russian hamsters too!). Or how about one of those miniature pigs that are so in fashion just now? Size of a cat and very trainable I hear :p

My pleasure Argh!
Hope you get the job :-)