If you miss a deadline due to some personal crisis, do you make your excuses to your supervisor to explain why you couldn't hand your work in on time?

My supervisor has made it very clear from the offset that he is willing to provide support on anything to do with my thesis, but he cannot give me any non-academic support. I can totally understand why he would want/need to do this, so I'm fine with keeping personal matters to myself.

But the problem arises when my personal life affects my ability to get my PhD work done. To some degree the work-life problems are co-dependent, and I'm losing the ability to see where the boundary is between them.

I feel like I need to give a good explanation of why I haven't been able to meet the deadline, which has happened a few times now, but I'm embarrassed to tell him the real reason why, and I think he doesn't want to know about it anyway. The reason why I feel like I should explain is because I worry that it appears rude or disrespectful not to do so, and also because I feel I should defend myself a little since the circumstances that result in my incompetency aren't entirely under my control.

Should I just submit the work with a 'Sorry this is late' and leave it at that, unless he enquires further?


Where do you draw the line with personal involvement with your supervisor?

You can try giving your lips a gentle scrub, maybe just with your toothbrush when you're brushing your teeth- exfoliating helps keep them soft and smooth. Vaseline is also a simple winner for dry lips.

I used to be quite partial to a bit of Blockbusters in the olden days.

I wish I was smart enough for University Challenge. If I can get one answer per show, then I'm pleased with myself.

But for me the holy grail of gameshows is Countdown. We were afternoon addicts- tea, cake and conundrums every day without fail. I was devastated by the passing of Richard Whiteley. Thank God I left the country before it went off the rails.

I just had another thought. Over the past couple of weeks, every so often I've seen a tiny white insect, like a termite maybe, crawling around near the top of my laptop screen. The first couple of times I tried to chase him out but he got away, and then I gave up bothering. He pops out for a second, and then disappears again. Perhaps my problem is insects are eating my laptop from the inside!

Thanks for the advice folks, and hijack away Kaymoy, because it may turn out that recommendations for a new model will be useful for me too!

P.S. no, it's not a Dell- are they known for this problem, or the Blue Screen of Death?

Thanks Teek. Google is always my first port of call for every question, and I have had a quick look but I haven't found much to help- often there is too much techy-speak that I don't really understand, or forum posts are very old. I'll seek advice from a uni IT person tomorrow. I was make a shout out to anyone who might have experienced the same thing, so I could gauge what a likely cause/outcome might be. My inner optimist hopes it is something simple like dust clogging up the fan which a bit of spring-cleaning will fix. It'll be a drag if the prognosis is worse.

I noticed my laptop fan started whirring full-time, and just now I got the blue screen of death stating 'Hardware malfunction....consult vendor'.

I have managed to restart it now, but I have a sense of impending doom about the health of my laptop, and I really do not need this to happen right now. Anyone else had this happen? Please tell me there is a quick, easy and cheap way to fix it. No, actually, you better tell me the truth, even if it is going to be painful.

Wow, loony, that is such a tough situation. I totally know what you mean about it becoming so distracting, but I guess if you want out, you will have to either make up a story or tell the truth. I believe in telling the truth about the big stuff. Do you think he would understand?
Or can you work through it? Over time feelings do change, especially if you can distance yourself from it, focus on someone else.
I hope you can find a way through- good luck!

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Hey Fred, I feel your pain! I'm more than a little lonely myself and finding it hard to meet people. I moved here from overseas, and it's hard starting from scratch to build up a network of friends. Like you I joined a few uni societies to meet people but mostly they are undergrads. The postgrad potentials are invariably already attached.
I'm torn though because my last relationship was actually pretty disastrous and I've lost a lot of my confidence, so I feel like maybe I am better off being single in order to focus on PhD stuff and not boys. My studies were part of the reason for the relationship being disastrous because he found it hard to understand what I was dealing with. But that doesn't stop me from missing having someone to snuggle up to.... while in the back of my mind hearing the quiet ticking of my biological clock reminding me that I'm going to be THIRTY by the time I finish up here.
And I'll tell you what else sucks about being single, aside from the lack of emotional support- the lack of practical support! How nice it would be to have someone cook dinner for me sometimes, help with the washing up, do a share of the cleaning...

But back to your dilemma, Fred- I would urge you to go for it with the girl in the corridor! If you're already brave enough to smile and say hi, then please go that little bit further and strike up a conversation, ask her for a coffee, whatever. I always feel grateful if I guy I like makes the first move. Confidence is sexy. I am so tired of falling for shy guys and having to do the running, because I'm shy too and I hate all the agonising over whether they really do like me or are just being friendly. Did she smile back? If you get the slightest sense she likes you too then just put yourself out there. I've been wishing I could do this. I'm almost thinking of resorting to internet dating. I actually filled out a profile for eHarmony, only to be told I was unmatchable! I don't know whether to be outraged or entirely depressed about that.

Hey Matt,
Just felt a bit spooky reading your post because I am in entirely the same position as you. So thanks for posting- the reason why I was checking this forum was because I was hoping to find someone experiencing the same things I am. I wanted to let you know that you are not alone out there- although I know all too well exactly how it feels to think you are. I hope this means something to you, coming from an anonymous voice in cyberspace!

Have you had encouragement from your supervisor? I'll bet they have faith that you can do it. I have faith that you can do it. You've got this far. You want to do it. So just do it. It doesn't have to be perfect- no one will be expecting that, because you will make all the refinings and polishings later down the track. Ha, this is really a message to myself as much as it is to you. If you're anything like me, you are probably your own worst enemy, in that your own self-doubt is what makes things so hard. But keep battling because you can get past that, and you can do a great job.
I think now is my last chance time, like you. It sucks. But I feel motivated to give it a bloody good shot, because I do want to do this- it's just immensely frustrating when other commitments and life's surprises and things beyond your control get in the way.

Hang in there

Thanks for the replies guys! I think I have a strong tendency towards paranoia, but I'm constantly feeling like I must be a 'weak' candidate, and wondering how much longer my supervisor will continue to be patient with me. I haven't been very productive so far, and I figured maybe they would take the opportunity of the first year review to kick me out!

Hi-de-hi PhD people,

What is the typical cull rate at the first year review stage?
Anyone with horror stories, first or second hand, about failing to progress to the second year?

I'm the same here- if I'm struggling against the drooping eyelids, I just have to take a quick nap. I usually wake up after about 15-20 minutes and feel a lot better. I used to do this regularly in the 'quiet study' area of the library, but I'm fairly confident i don't snore. I sometimes wonder if it's in your genes. A running joke in my family is my father's remarkable ability to nod off at any opportune seated moment- social occasions, in the theatre, at meal-times... I find long lectures can be a problem after the first half an hour, and car journeys send me off to sleep very effectively too!

After lunch, I'll try to go for a quick walk, because I think that helps the post-prandial sleepiness a bit. Or a cup of tea or coffee, but I'm a bit of a caffeine lightweight and too much makes me feel very anxious and i can't work. I tried ginseng tea for a while, but the iffy taste wasn't counteracted by any miraculous benefits. Anyone favour guarana? Or find it is better or different to caffeine?

Hi all

How do you get yourself into the zone for working on your PhD?

These days I often find that I'll sit down at my desk to work, but it'll take me a really long time to settle down into a focused frame of mind where I can work productively. I often feel like my thoughts are racing too fast to think clearly, or I'll be continually distracted by other things I have to do or plan for, and it seems like I waste a lot of time this way.

It's magic when I can tune out everything else and just focus on my work, but it happens very rarely, so I'd like to learn how to turn it on at will.

I'm wondering what other people do- can you just sit down at your desk and work straight away? Or do you have any rituals or things you do to help you settle down to work?