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Dr_Crabby
Sunday, 21 May 2017 at 8:32pm
Tuesday, 8 October 2019 at 9:12am
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Thread: PhD Imposter Syndrome

posted
08-Oct-19, 09:15
edited about 3 seconds later
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posted about 1 week ago
pm133, that is a great perspective to have on imposter syndrome and the best description I've ever heard. Jesse re-read that a couple of times, you wouldn't have got onto the programme if you weren't capable :)

Thread: PhD has made me nuts!!

posted
07-Oct-19, 14:39
edited about 27 seconds later
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posted about 1 week ago
AlphaOmega

I totally understand, I was in a better paid job before I started it too and I am now working for a total maniac of a boss in a dead end receptionist job which I hate!! I had my viva in June and I have still not managed to get up the courage or motivation to go back to my thesis yet. Time is ticking away and all I keep thinking is tough, I need to make time to sort myself out right now.

I honestly think the whole PhD has been a total waste of my time and sanity.

Thread: I want quit my PhD- after passing my viva with major corrections.

posted
07-Oct-19, 14:12
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posted about 1 week ago
Hi
I can absolutely 100% relate to how you feel, minus expecting a baby in 3 months (Congratulations by the way). I also passed with major corrections in June and have barely looked at my thesis since. Every time I think about it, I just want to burn it. I have so much to do and want it finished, I don't want to quit at this stage but I am so done with it, the thought of being neck deep in my research again just completely fills me with dread.
I am in a crap, meaningless full time job which I took to help me have the time to finish my thesis and get to the viva and because it is still not finished, I'm still working the crap and meaningless job which you'd think would motivate me to work on my thesis but it just depresses me even further.

I don't know the answer, I don't have anything positive to say other than, you are really not alone in the way you feel. My advice would be, work on it as much as you can until the deadline and then submit whatever you have done. If it's still not good enough, then by the time you find that out you will have a brand new baby and the PhD will be at the bottom of your list of priorities but you have nothing to lose by putting all your effort into it until then.

Good luck :)

Thread: Mental health in ruins

posted
12-Sep-19, 15:15
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posted about 1 month ago
Hi trevalda

I can totally relate to everything you said in your post. It's taken me 2 years to admit that I'm really struggling, not so much with the work but with everything you said. As soon as I admitted it to myself and my other half I instantly felt like a weight had been lifted off me. You've taken the first step, making an appointment with a counsellor and I hope you feel the same relief that I did.

xx

Thread: New PhD - to quit or not to quit?

posted
05-Sep-19, 09:56
edited about 3 seconds later
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posted about 1 month ago
My advice would be that if you feel like this so early on - run before you waste anymore time. I am interested and passionate about my research and I have still wanted to run a million times over the past few years. If the project is one you don't have any interest in it will make pushing through the difficult times so much more difficult and by then you might have invested too much which makes the decision to quit even harder.

Just my opinion though.

Thread: PhD has made me nuts!!

posted
27-Aug-19, 09:27
edited about 14 seconds later
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posted about 2 months ago
Quote From pm133:

As for you quitting, maybe you should make the decision to do so but don't tell anyone for 2 months.
Then see how you feel. Honestly if you hate the process, don't care about the certificate, don't want to use the qualification and it's affecting your health and your relationships to this degree then I'm struggling to see the value in continuing. Alternatively, you could list 3 good reasons to put yourself through this absolute hell. Not wanting to feel a failure is not a reason.


I know it seems absolutely crazy to continue and I'm not fussed about people knowing I've quit, none of them have been in my situation so they can keep their opinions to themselves.

I just feel that to quit now, so close to what could potentially be the last hurdle would be a bad decision and would mean the past few years of putting myself through hell would all have been for nothing. Plus I am really excited about the findings, my external examiner said my findings have been found before (in dogs) so are not novel but she can go to hell because dogs don't count lol.

I am considering making an appointment with my GP but I know he will only offer me anti-depressants and I don't want that.

Thread: PhD has made me nuts!!

posted
27-Aug-19, 09:20
edited about 15 seconds later
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posted about 2 months ago
Quote From gcaiii:


What really bothers me is that I have been through some really serious things in my early life but nothing messed me up like this PhD.. Absolutely strange!!!


Sorry I never saw this post when I replied yesterday.

I'm exactly the same, stupidly I decided to research traumatic childhoods which maybe wasn't the best idea considering my own childhood experiences but I was fine before I started this PhD so I didn't think it would be a major issue.

I can totally relate to just getting it done and take what comes next, that's what I had to do by the end before I totally lost my mind.

Thread: PhD has made me nuts!!

posted
26-Aug-19, 18:48
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posted about 2 months ago
This sounds just like me!! Only I've gained 3 stone in comfort eating, as opposed to working through my stress on a daily run like I used to (can't run now due to a back injury).

I don't sleep either, not unless I drink vodka or take something to help me which is not ideal, and with no sleep, I have no energy and no motivation which increases my stress and decreases any chance of getting a good night sleep.

My PhD has been a nightmare from start to finish and I genuinely wish i had never bothered with it. I really don't like the person I have become since starting it, I hate being a stressy person and not feeling good enough and feeling like I have spent my life at uni and I'm still doing a dead end job with no prospects, I applied for a job last week and had to take all my qualifications off my CV to have any hope of getting it, it's a joke.

I have major corrections to do and I would sack the whole thing off today if I thought for a second it'd make me feel normal again but I know it wouldn't be as easy as that. It would just make me feel like more of a failure.

How long has it been since you finished your PhD? Did you think it was worth doing in the end?

Thread: PhD has made me nuts!!

posted
26-Aug-19, 13:55
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posted about 2 months ago
Has anyone else found that doing a PhD has totally messed with your head?

I was a totally different person before I started this and I don't like this incessant worrier that I've become. I used to have confidence in myself, could recognise my skills, I was a go-getter, I was fun and always up for a laugh. Now I feel like punching anyone who speaks to me, I worry all the time, I have a constant nagging voice in my head telling me I'm not good enough, it's driving me nuts. I just want to feel like me again.

Does it go away once you finish your PhD or am I going to end up needing sectioned by the time I get to the end?

Anyone else feel the same?

Thread: Summer Thesis Submission

posted
23-Aug-19, 14:35
edited about 24 seconds later
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posted about 2 months ago
Mu uni sent out an email before they arranged a date asking if there were any dates that were inconvenient for either me or my supervisor so they might do that and let you tell them when you're not available.

Thread: Got revise and resubmit for PhD at VIVA - what to do about job?

posted
19-Aug-19, 20:02
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posted about 2 months ago
I can't offer any advice right now but just wanted to say - I could have practically written this so you're not alone!!

I am working full time with a full time PhD and an enormous amount or work to do, although I don't have a massive commute every day. Is there any way you could move closer to the job in the short term and then you could replace the 3 hr commute with 3 hrs of work?

Thread: Lost all interest after my viva!!

posted
19-Aug-19, 19:59
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posted about 2 months ago
You are absolutely right pm133, quitting would be the hardest decision to make and the not knowing when to give in is what has me worrying about it, the nature of my research is on traumatic childhoods and at one point during my writing up stage I genuinely felt like I was going mad - I just couldn't get these people's stories out of my head (made worse by the flashbacks and nightmares from my own childhood) and part of me thinks nothing at all is worth sending me back to that place mentally.

BUT I'm not a quitter and I would feel like an absolute failure if I did decide to quit, especially given the nature of the research and how important I think it could be. It's just a constant battle with myself over how much of my sanity I really want to sacrifice and also how bad I don't want to fail!

SShenoy - I think I will take your advice and have a total day off with no plans and no expectations and then try and make very small goals until I start to see some progress. Thanks x

Thread: Lost all interest after my viva!!

posted
19-Aug-19, 19:49
edited about 11 seconds later
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posted about 2 months ago
Quote From eng77:


It took you 3-4 years to reach this stage which looked too faraway at the beginning. Once you started, it will end. You can and you will do it. All the best.


That is a very good way of looking at it. Thank you!

Thread: Lost all interest after my viva!!

posted
15-Aug-19, 13:25
edited about 23 seconds later
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posted about 2 months ago
Hopefully that is true that it won't be as bad once I get started, the majority of it needs to be rewritten or restructured though. I have re-jigged my home office and bought a new desk chair but it hasn't helped so far.

Thread: Lost all interest after my viva!!

posted
08-Aug-19, 12:09
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posted about 2 months ago
I think it's the amount of work and the usual "don't know where to begin" that's putting me off. I sickened myself with my home office spending so much time in there during write up and I think I'm now associating that room with intense stress, now the thought of going in there just makes me feel sick, it's ridiculous though, I'm a grown ass woman (allegedly).

I need to re-write a few sections and add in more literature which is fair enough but I also have to restructure the whole thesis, they apparently didn't like my format so they want it re-jigged which means rewriting more sections to get it all to flow right again, I find editing harder than writing and want to just scrap it and start over but I can't really do that so instead I'm putting it off and frustrating myself wasting time.
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