I fancy my supervisor


its so common to fancy your supervisor. happens to everyone at some point, but you dont know what this guy is like in 'real' life. you only know his work/professional persona, which isnt going to match up with what he's like when he gets in from work, probably dead late (cos all academics work way too hard), in a foul mood etc. stop convincing yourself hes this amazing, perfect guy. he wont be...youd probably be dead disappointed if you got to know what hes really like....

...and if by some miracle you did end up together, do you think youd be able to stop yourself getting all paranoid and jealous when hes jetting off to conferences etc with young, female students and colleagues...??


yes - you really need to move on! plenty more sexy student fish in the sea! :-)


Yes its distracting when you feel like that, but its all infatuation at this point because you dont really know whats hes like.  Hes married, so forget him romantically, and if he was prone to mess around, would you want to be another one of his flings, mistresses - not the first and certainly not the last. You cant help fancying him, and I know a good looking lecturer where I work and his students are always getting crushes on him, I also know of some of his affairs!  Put your effort into your phd and work on impressing him professionally and give yourself slap, you dont want him to think you fancy him!!! Go out with your friends and see if you can source some other distractions.  Yea all the good looking men are married or gay huh :-( All the best


Also recognise that, frankly, humans are fucking nuts when it comes to sex (or nut-fucking.) To prove this point I, like every good first year student, will provide you with a link to Wikipedia. PLease explore the inter-related topics, particularly genetic sexual attraction.



PhdSmug - get a group of friends and go for a city break and see another side of the world. I don't mean to go slutting to get him outta your head (sorry for the crudeness) but just go see some part of the world you want to and realise that these opportunities are there for ya if you get your act together and get this PhD out the gap! Sometimes it takes a bit of a different perspective to get clarity - and who knows, maybe there is a better looking Chad/Stefan/Luigi on the way. You have time in the first year as it does get busier.

As for the meetings, if there is no set format, get one! Have written reports submitted and minutes to follow. That way
a. You have a script to follow if stuck
b. If he is to give feedback, you don't need to talk. It will also impress him on a professional level.
c. Most importantly, you are writing! Dangerous Liaisons besides, it is crucial to start writing ASAP.

Talk to a friend about this - it is good that you haven't told anyone in the dept. as academia is a poisonous place once these things get outta hand (Chinese Whispers ... TO THE MAX!!). But you do need to have someone to confide in and for want of a better word, be the angel on your shoulder.

You have a good relationship with your supervisor and that is worth its weight in gold (give a look thro the forum for evidence). It's like the attitude towards any fine looking students you may have in your classes ... "Teach em, don't touch em!"


Stay away! I am a married PhD student and my husband is a professor/supervisor - if I ever found out that one of his students had made a pass at him then I would be around in a flash to slap them round the face. If you want I can do the same thing for you :-)


Time for tea that's a bit vicious! Poor smug was only lamenting the errors of her heart (well, hormones anyway).


lets keep the violence to a minimum people it's nearly christmas xx

Avatar for sneaks

I assume PhD_Smug, isn't PhDbug playing tricks?

Anway, the fish slapping is a bit violent but agree with the sentiment. Smug - your PhD will soon become your other half so don't stress too much!

Avatar for Eska

In my experience Christmas is the most violent time of the year...


no, I'm not Bug - the name was meant to come out PhD mug - oh well! I would rather not be fish slapped - but thanks for the offer :-)


Quote From sneaks:

Smug - your PhD will soon become your other half so don't stress too much!

Sneaks, that is so true! We're practically married to our PhDs. I'm finished mine now, thus we're in the process of divorce :-)


I hope you realise I was only joking about the slapping - am not the violent type at all. In my defence I am about to give birth to twins so 1) am very hormonal and 2) the size of a small house - would take me a good half hour to get off the sofa anyway so you have nothing to worry about. ;-)

Avatar for sneaks

boys or girls or both? Can you tell if they are identical or not? how exciting, planning to dress them the same?


Looks like one of each so won't be dressing them quite the same!