I am feeling particularly down and negative about my PhD at the moment but I don't want to pollute the accountability and goal threads with my pessimism any further so voila - the moaning thread.
I shall go first.
I HATE MY PHD. There, I finally said it. I am completely out of my depth. My subject area doesn't interest me - even at undergrad level I chose it for the challenge rather than anything else. Nothing works properly (lab work) and I am slowly going crazy. I hate the unstructured nature of the lifestyle and working crazy hours. Also my office smells funny.
Feel free to rant away below!
I hate my PhD too, particularly at the moment. I hate the fact that everything seems to constantly go wrong, I hate my supervisor (i swear he's the living embodiment of Satan in a posh suit!), i hate feeling guilty whenever I'm not doing PhD work, I hate the endless round of repetitiveness and mundane rubbish that goes with doing a PhD, and I hate being a poor student!
Ahhhhh, feel better for that, excellent threat Ev!
I've now 'come to terms' with my PhD. I think it helps when you are towards the end (in terms of registration period, NOT the amount of work left of course!!) to see the end of the tunnel (ignoring all that work that still has to be done).
but I do totally agree with you. I am absolutely looking forward to the day where I can do something and not feel guilty that it's not related to my PhD. I haven't had that feeling for 5 years! I would love to be able to take a whole weekend off, or actually enjoy a bank holiday by not working. I'm looking forward to not having to revise what I write twenty times.
However, I'm going to miss being able to use "I'm too busy working on my thesis" as an excuse to get out of stuff! ;-)
i'm also in quite a low mood about the whole phd thing just now, so thought i'd join in this moaning thread!
i want to moan about the endless rounds of presentations that come with being a phd student in my department, the fact that i'm completely out of my depth when it comes to statistics, and my first round of data analysis is therefore not going well, the way you pretty much never get to feel on top of things...or if you do, it's for about 1/2 hour at the most! the fact that the work you should be doing is always on your mind, no matter how much you try to forget it, and the endless amount of really rubbish programs I watch on tv now when i'm working from home during the day....just to extend my lunch break and put off working for a bit longer!
when i was working on my undergrad degree, i did feel like i worked hard and put a lot into it, but with the phd, i constantly feel lazy, it's difficult to get anything done, and a general air of 'i can't be bothered' hangs over most tasks i try and do! and when i do get something done, even it's the smallest task possible, i tend to convince myself that that was some good hard work, and definatly deserves the rest of the day off.....after all, the work i was supposed to be doing can get done 'tomorrow' instead!
and so it's no suprise to me really that as I glance over what i've written here, i'm thinking that it's not really my phd that i'm moaning about at all....it's me! and what's the answer?....i just need to work harder, that's all!! and that sums up really well why my phd drives me mad! it makes me annoyed at it, and at myself, in equal measure!
Oh, I love a good moan!
I hate how unstructured my working life is. I hate having no real feedback from assignments etc and consequently feeling like I'm not good enough and expecting to be found out soon. I hate that my main supervisor hasn't replied to my last 2 emails, the first one sending him a draft of written work, and I hate wondering if its because the work was so rubbish! OK, I know I am being paranoid but it's really weird that I've not heard from him.
I hate the misconceptions surrounding PhDs. I hate the twats from school who I bumped into recently on a night out who told me that I'm 'not really living' because I am just 'doing university course after university course'. Fucking morons.
======= Date Modified 23 Jun 2010 19:01:42 =======
Calm down Calm down everyone! Hang on a minute, A PhD could be a piece of (turkey) for someone and a real pain in the *** for others. Do we need a swear thread. Of course not at this stage. I remember nearly 10 years ago I come across a live real voice chat forum where there was a kind of swear room where people wait for their turns on the microphone and start ***** on their turns...I am not a genius to take it that way but I think a PhD is more than hard work. It is something like hit where it hurts rather than hit every where and start loosing body parts with excessive repetitive tasks.... Noway, calm down, think logically and find out the most delicate parts of this beast...
I so hate that too - I hate it when people call me a perenial student having a good time and ask when I'm going to get a 'real' job!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR - and people that say it must be such fun just hanging around the uni and writing a bit here and there - and people who say 'but you won't be a "real" doctor' with that smug look....... I work harder now than I've ever worked, I work all hours of the day and night, I work til I drop and have done for years to get where I am now. I would so love to have a 'real' job sometimes, the kind that you do your hours, come home, have evenings and weekends off and have a life!
I'm also at a bit of a stage where I hate my PhD - I mean, I'm so grateful to be where I am, working with the people I'm working with, but the money, the stress, the hours, the workload are so immense and tiring sometimes - it seems never ending, as though I'm stuck here forever or until I have to go through the hell of completion and the viva - in that respect it feels like it can only get worse and being already so tired that is daunting. Another year and I'm at the end of my 3 years, 2 years max to submit, but I want to be done sooner than that, I can't survive on nothing.... sigh...... I also wish I'd done something different, something interesting to others - but that's not how it works, I tell people what I'm doing and they look at me as if to say wtf do you spend your life doing that for, its hardly the cure for cancer (I'm in history) and that gets me down - right now I can't see why I'm doing what I'm doing at all - I mean, what's it all for? What difference will it make to anyone or anything - sweet fa...... There are times I could cry, times I could drop out quite easily, but something keeps me pushing on - bloody mindedness most likely - I WILL NOT let this damned thing beat me ;-)
Hmmmm feel a bit better after a rant - you guys understand, if I ever rant in the real world I just get 'well quit then'....
I still love my PhD :-x , but it can get the best of me (like today). Seeing the amount of negative posting lately, I think there seems to be some sort of a "dry spell" hitting productivity with all of us. It seems to coincide with the better weather we're getting and the lack of holidays we'd be taking! Here's hoping it passes!... Maybe camping outside with my laptop when it's sunny will make me think I'm on holiday :p.
As for peoples perception of PhD students...I once found the perfect flat; the rent, location and size were perfect! BUT Landlord wanted 'Professionals Only' i.e. no students, and wouldn't listen when I tried to explain that I was a PhD student with a steady income :-s
oh no! today we seem to have more negative posts!!! Hi Ev!!!
I don't hate my phd but I don't like all the silly paper work, filling in documents etc.etc. that I have to do in my university; its time consuming.
I share an office with people who eat CRISPS at least twice a day, and they chew so loud it drives me crazy. I can't tell them to stop eating. I would like to STOMP on their crisps and crush everything under my shoes but I can't do that. I also want to tell someone (in my office) to STOP SCRAPING the plastic containers with his spoon (!!!!) because the sound is so irritating but I can't. I can even hear the guy sitting behind me CHEW AND SWALLOW banana. I hate it. So I try not to work in the office if I can.
if you change your mind about your phd, post back here xxx
Sorry, but i do need a wee moan. I'm on a work/PhD related trip, giving presentations on my thesis - although i have yet to finish the thesis (industry funded work, so explaining the results to them - a very good thing). I asked for a job, and while i have not heard a definite no, the boss said after my talk that it was the last time to ask questions. Plus i think with restructuring of the company, they have to let 30% of the current staff go. So, it is looking very unlikely. Oh and the boss asked what the take home message from my work was for them - i couldn't really answer it, cause i hadn't really thought too much about it (seriously, trying to write a thesis here - cant he figure some things out for himself??). Also just basically think i am actually not all that great at this whole thing - either academia or industry -wise. Plus, i have gone way past the point of caring about the results or the work. I just need a rest.
But, my plan is to go spend a few days with a friend over here. And there was a possibility of maybe something a bit interesting happening between us - although far from anything concrete. Except today, i was talking to this girl who used to work with me here, and even when i was here i thought she was a "wagon" to use an Irish term (any time i was really angry or upset, she was usually the cause) - she told me today that there might be something going between her and him. I think there is about a 10 year age gap between them - of 30-odd to 20-odd. Little wagon.... I just hope it doesnt become awkward, i just want a nice rest!!
And finally i also found out today that a lady who used to work in the department here died last month in a car accident. Which makes me sad, she was really lovely, her husband is really lovely and they have two young children. A lesson to us all to value each day and all of our loved ones.
So, to all of us, breathe in and out, rant if you need to, but move onwards and upwards. Don't let the b******ds drag you down!
Thank you Ev, i needed that. And i feel better knowing i've shared it and can move on tomorrow with a positive attitude.
Well, I've started to write up and I'm hating it already. But I can't moan because I've bought a laptop that has a lovely kepboard and have appropriated and installed Micorsoft Office 10 Professional Edition. And then I've also stuck on the new Invisio Premium Edition, Publisher and loads of proofing tools. It's ace. And it's almost stopping me from not enjoying writing up because I enjoy using it so much. And I've also got Endnote X4 - and it has much better functionality than my older edition of Endnote. Oh, and Medcalc - that's so much fun to use. You realise how bloated software like SPSS is when you use it! If I do have one moan, it's that I can't find enough uses for all the new stuff I have.
Gah, I'm all annoyed now, so come here for a moan! My other half has decided to buy an exercise bike and he's been texting me every five minutes for the last hour with details about prices and reviews and stuff he's seen online. And I'm trying to write my upgrade paper and really don't have time for such nonsense. Honestly, why can't he leave me alone and let me get on with my work?!!! He does this all the time, breaking my concentration, and then gets hurt if I don't reply to the texts. So now I've sent him a shirty text saying we'll talk about it later but I need to work, and he's not replied, so I'm thinking he's probably in a huff now. And now that thought's distracting me from my work as much as the texts were, and I feel bad for getting annoyed with him over such a little thing. Gah!!!
Im sorry for bumping this old-ish thread but its exactly what Ive been looking for to vent some frustration. I agree with pretty much every comment above.
I also HATE my PhD. 18 months in and the I cant think of one bit that I have enjoyed. I hate the long hours, I hate the reading, I hate the stress, I hate lying awake at night worrying about data and experiments, I hate the fact that undergrad friends are working steadily, travelling, partying, having babies, enjoying life and I spend my day counting cells.
I hate how my supervisor emails when I am on holiday then gets annoyed with me when I dont reply. Just STFU!
I hate Melody from The Apprentice - she's such a sly bugger.
I hate my house and housemates. I hate that they bang the doors and leave mess and dont socialise and cook omelettes almost every night. I hate omelettes.
I hate feeling guilty when Im watching TV at night and not working.
I hate my university town and that I live so far away from my hometown. Its such an isolating, lonely place. Ive made so few friends here compared to my undergraduate town it depresses me so much.
But most of all, I hate that everyone else around me seems to be having a great time :-(
Phew. Vent over. I'm sorry for spamming the the forum with my thoughts but please continue the thread and rant away below - does anyone feel the same? I promise writing it down will make you feel a teensy bit better!
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