Signup date: 06 Jun 2010 at 9:03am
Last login: 11 Jan 2016 at 2:15pm
Post count: 251
I just saw your thread.
I understand the feeling. As you know, the Dec 2011 deadline has also gone for me and I even still have a major part to simulate. I'm trying to just keep going.
Is it possible if you take a break for a while/ few days? Go to the parks or anywhere? Usually, thinking/ trying to figure out things when you are panic only make things worse or at least appear worse than they really are. After refreshing, how about if you just send whatever that you have. It's the the first draft- for sure you will need to edit it later, no matter how perfect you want it to be this time.
Feel free to rant- don't worry.
I really appreciate of anyone could help me to get these papers:
======= Date Modified 05 Nov 2011 17:41:15 =======
I have also just discovered that the last part of my research is not efficient to be implemented practically. It may work in simulation but, it may not be computationally efficient for real time implementation. Besides I don’t have enough sensors for the experimental setup, I don’t have any knowledge/ experience about the sensor and I don’t even know where to buy it. I feel that all my efforts for the last 2 months are useless. I may attempt to solve these problems but it will take much more time, but I don’t have much time. I should discuss this with my supervisor, but I am reluctant to see him because I usually feel more depressed after our meetings.
I am also worried about my second journal as I should be getting the reply soon. I feel that the work is insignificant, not much contribution to knowledge and I had written it really badly. I have put a lot of time and effort into it, but why is the output almost zero? But, I am still hoping that the paper will be accepted no matter how I feel right now.
Before starting my PhD, I had signed a contract to serve a university in my home country after finishing the PhD. But, I can’t imagine myself doing any more research or anything related to academia after this. I can’t stand that this torture will continue even after the viva/ final examination. I don’t see the end of this. Breaching the contract would cost a lot of money that I would have to work for 10 years or more to pay for it all.
I have tried to share the problem with family / friends, but not everyone could understand what I am going through. I feel more hurt after talking to them. I have tried to meet the counsellor in the university, but as far as I know there is no a real trained/ professional counsellors in this university. There are only lecturers that are assigned as student guidance who we can meet if we have problems. I once met a ‘counsellor’ and he said I don’t have any problem. The cost of the counsellors outside is very expensive, besides there is also language barrier that both the counsellor and I are lack of vocabularies, and I also have to save money for those months that I won’t be getting scholarship anymore. I have tried emailing the Samaritans but it only works in the beginning. I have taken a long break, have just returned from a conference in a nice island and visited my family (the conference venue was close to my country), but I still feel lazy. I may join some friends to hang out/ spend some time together, but I don’t feel like doing so. I feel so isolated, but I am the one who is isolating myself. I just can’t stand to be with anyone at the moment. I also eat and shop a lot to reduce the anxiety, but I gain more weight and lost a lot of money, and I feel more stressed.
Sometimes I feel like I am exaggerating small problems. There are other people who are in worse situation but do not complain much.
Do you guys think I am being unrealistic trying to catch the February 2012 deadline?
I am so stressed that I can't think of anything anymore.
From what I know, the most important thing in PhD is just keep going, but I just don’t have the strength to do so anymore. I feel like jumping in front of a moving _ _ _ _ _.
======= Date Modified 06 Nov 2011 03:52:37 =======
Sorry for this very negative post - I need to get this off my chest.
I just can't be bothered/ don't have the strength to do anything. I feel so tired, lazy and no motivation at all. It is not that I don't know what I need to do or don't have any desire to do them at all (I do have some desire to finish my work), but I just CAN'T. I have already broken down and listed the small tasks that I need to do, but when I try to do them, I just can't- I cry all the time sitting at the table, my mind goes blank and I feel that everything is hopeless and useless.
I am trying to catch my official deadline for thesis submission which should be at the end of February 2012 and I am supposed to have my viva in March 2012 and final examination in April/ May 2012. I am still formulating, and have simulation and experiment of 1/3 of my research to do. I don't think I am able to catch the deadline but I really would like to finish by the end of June next year because (i) my scholarship will be terminated by March 2012. Even though I may apply for the exemption of tuition fee, I can't afford another few months' living cost in this country. It would be equivalent to almost one year salary of a bachelor degree graduate in my country. I can't apply for a part time job here because I can't speak the local language, (ii) I just can't stand living this kind of life anymore, (iii) although I may be less stressed, I don’t think I will produce a good thesis even if I am given another few months extra (iv) although I know I shouldn't be thinking much about what other people may think, I feel really embarrassed if I apply for an extension again.
The last part of my research is very new to me (I don't have much confidence in it) and I've just learned that one of my potential examiners/ panels is an expert in this. I had a bad experience with him since my hellish master viva 2.5 years ago and I am suffering from trauma of him, other panels and the whole viva experience. I will most likely be getting the same panels for my PhD viva. I don't feel like I have the will / strength to face them anymore let alone defend my thesis. Thinking of this make me cry all the time. I may actually make use of the panel (the one who is expert in the last part of my research) by asking him questions to strengthen my understanding, but (i) the way my supervisor is saying it (he didn't say it directly), it seems like he is not comfortable with me seeing that panel, (ii) I am not sure whether the panel will welcome me, (iii) it's quite difficult to communicate due to the language barrier, (iv) I don't actually know what to ask :-(
Masters DegreesSearch For Masters Degrees
An active and supportive community.
Support and advice from your peers.
Your postgraduate questions answered.
Use your experience to help others.
Enter your email address below to get started with your forum account
Enter your username below to login to your account
An email has been sent to your email account along with instructions on how to reset your password. If you do not recieve your email, or have any futher problems accessing your account, then please contact our customer support.
or continue as guest