WOW... I heard similar things, though, from other people. For all I know, they are worried that people chuck it in. Strangely, the drop-out rate apparently is highest towards the end because it is most difficult to sustain motivation then.

Also, my guess is that they want to see rewards for "all the hard work they have put into us".... I can somewhat understand that in theory. In practice, (a) they get paid for it, and (b) I have only had about 10 meetings with my sup altogether over the three years.

Thanks for your posts. It's consoling....

Thanks! Good to know that it is not uncommon to hear nothing. They have not even reviewed all my chapters yet. I think it is true what they say. Once you figured out how to do a PHD, you don't need it anymore. True, right till the very end.

I am in OZ. They get extra money for a completion but of course, a submission is not a completion.

Are any of you being pressured to submit before Christmas or any other deadline?
My head of School has set me a "deadline" before Christmas at which I should submit although I had planned to submit in January. My guess is that the School wants the government funding for this financial year. However, I have only just had a change in supervision and have not even met the new one.

I find this strange. They hardly look after us around here (at uni, that is) and then the pressure. It is not as if we work for them or anything.... and are happy to take orders. Anyway, am I the only one?

You are here not to BE chosen but to CHOOSE. Competition is nothing but accepting to measure yourself against others and therefore embrace and surrender willingly to the values of the academic system.

Alternatively you can choose to do your project purely for the learning experience (about YOUR inner being) it presents. Give thing your own meaning. Forget competing, social comparison, jealousy, feeling worthless. Let go of anxiety. Stay away from it all and mingle with like-minded persons. They are out there, rare but they exist at every uni.

Tom,
When you transferred to your uni in Finland, could you take off from where you left off in Amsterdam? In other words, did the new uni let you do your work without making you start all over again with new topic, proposal etc.?

I really feel like Gummi bears (Gummibaerchen)now. Can you buy them in Australia?

(cont)
My supervisor is Asian, I am European, we are in OZ which also leads to heaps of conflict. I suffered silently for a year or so and then decided to make it an issue, i.e., talk to him about it and that I felt he takes things the wrong way and that I would like to speak about it openly so that we develop a good relationship. Miraculously, than worked. So now I double check every now and again that he is not offended. Sounds silly but works.

At the end of the day, they also want no frills relationships, perhaps.

Another thing that helped me deal with the problem of "social faux pas" Olivia mentioned is to confide in someone who is a native. Confront the issue rather than evade it. Once you find NL friends specifically ask them what the best way of saying things or doing them is. I found a great Aussie girl here who I can ask anything even seemingly simply things like how to phrase things in an email, how to respond to something, how to behave, act, etc. I can also ask her if any of my behaviour offends her or is odd. Sounds strange considering that we are adults but living in another country is a bit like learning a few things from scratch again, making baby steps. (cont)

Hi Jouri,

This is the ultimate question that keeps me going through all this.

As for myself, I would be working in a small yacht marina along the coast here somewhere doing admin, leasing out wet berths to the sailors, talk to the sailors, welcome them, help them, see them off again.

Small life, simple, content.

What you you?
Cornelia

(cont)

I can fully relate to your emotions. We get so lonely and desperate in a way that we look for someone to blame (them not helping the language problems, etc). I did that too until I slowly came to understand the Aussie culture, the way people think and WHY. The relation to the history of this country. It takes YEARS. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Take your time. They say it takes 5 years. But its is (like someone also said) a life-changing experience.

If we can help somehow, let us know.

Good luck!
Cornelia

Hi numbat,

Well, now you know you are not alone with this. I am a German doing my PhD in Australia and have had similar issues. It took me 2 years to adjust and this is me having lived in the UK, Ireland and the States before I came here. The trouble is perhaps with "being in academia". No offence, but it is generally not the most supportive environment. My advice to you would be to look for friends outside, join clubs, groups, whatnot. There, too, you are not alone. NL is also full of immigrants and expatriates except that it is not so obvious there. Search the internet for forums or support groups. If you in Amsterdam or Rotterdam, there will be lost of professionals from all over Europe. (cont)

(cont)
Long sermon short: My personal experience is that the best way to enjoy the PhD is to believe in YOUR idea, YOUR Methodology, YOUR results. Focus and enjoy the process, rather than worry about outcome. Anxiety only paralyses. Fear of failure inhibits your creativity and ultimately your success. It is very difficult not to fear other peoples' verdict (supervisors, reviewers, family) but remember that the ultimate truth is subjective. Good projects are convincing in themselves. They do not require approval from anyone. And any other university will be interested in it too if all fails. Do not make yourself a slave of other's game.

Keep up the spirit!
Cornelia

Corinne,
Like you and many others, I have also had a similar journey. My s is also not in my field, doesn't really have a a clue as regards my theories but plays the power and control game all the time. Essentially, supervisors are insecure because they are not the expert in your topic (you are!), yet they are supposed to be in charge and the Department holds them responsible for your success. So they cannot be human and show their weakness but, for the sake of appearances, play cool and distant. At the same time, academia is (let's face it) a bit of a flawed system. They are obsessed with publications, status, and how often they are cited on scholar google. That is all they have. Supervising students is a necessary evil that is only interesting if students produce papers (which they can co-author). (cont)