Signup date: 09 Aug 2008 at 9:32pm
Last login: 13 Jan 2009 at 3:05pm
Post count: 92
She seems to be very nervous about that. I know this from other people who are nervous dealing with homosexual people from the same sex. Give her some time to find out that you are not interested in her in that way.
In your place I would wait for a while and then talk to her.
I will make some days off for the new year, going to visit a friend. He is trying to convince me to come without work. A break would be great but for me it is difficult to go from holiday modus to working modus. I get used to laziness, staying up all night, talking, drinking, watching movies, going out, sleeping long and read in bed. How I love to be lazy :-x
It is almost christmas and I am still here... I will have 48 hours of christmas (visiting my family), beside that I will work. The libraries are empty, only three people (including me) are online. And still I am motivated, no sarcasm! Well, I have pressure, that helps to be motivated :)
Are there others or am I the only one?
It is the same for me. I cannot really take time off. I always bring working stuff when I visit friends or family for a few days. I prefer to work than have this feelings of guilt. Few months ago I even had bad dreams when I didn't work for a few days. I am not sure if I will get out of PhD with a healthy mind :p
Try out an holiday working schedule- do much less but stay with it. Like that you avoid the hard change from work to holiday and then back from work.
Oh how right you are! Whatever could happen would be embarrassing - to be rejected -omg to imagine anybody in the institute would know about :$ And thank god our meetings are not romantic :D I am far away from behaving crazy. I imagine in one Indiana Jones movie a girl wrote "i love you" on her eyelid and blinking at her prof. Don't think I am like that :D
He is a fab supervisor. He is clever, caring, supportive, I would be a real idiot to risk anything. But like I wrote yesterday-sometimes after talking to him I feel like a truck drove over me. And then i need some hours to get on the right path again ;)
Oh no, I promised myself not to post on this thread again. And not to talk about this ever again. My supervisor... he is so adorable... I posted here in the summer when I got to know him after he came to my university, that there is too much sympathy. The last months I was working with him and we have a great connection. I am just so confused this moment, because we had a meeting in the morning and in the afternoon i met him by accident. And we had a chat in the middle of a crowded hall for more than half an hour without realising all the people around. He is so nice and kind and sexy... We talked about all kind of stuff - working and just other things, we were laughing, joking, sometimes saying the same words in the same moment - I could talk hours and hours with him. Last week I found him looking at me in a way...it made me shiver... he is attracted to me, I feel that. We are not flirting, but there is something in the air when we talk, I cannot describe. He is not the kind of guy to start something with a student I suppose.
I know I will not do anything. I am too reasonable to allow myself this and I am very hard to myself concerning this man. He is much older, he is my supervisor, it is such a cliche, makes me feel like stupid schoolgirl. And he is great to work with, there are so many things I want to learn from him so I will not risk anything.
But THIS is there... I will meet other guys, i will not start to flirt or dress up. I will not make a sad story out of this. But this attraction is there and this afternoon it hit me very hard again. I am not talking about him in this way normally, but I feel so helpless in this moment.
Oh I remember my years in crowded places with messy other students. It was HORRIBLE. Flat mates growing mushrooms on old dirty places, smoking joints day and night, listening to music as loud as possible, making party when I have a flue. Once I had a half attac-movement in the kitchen.
I rent a private flat no matter how small it is.
But in general it is the problem of cheap housing, it is noisy, stinky, crowded, small with bad infrastructure. Years ago I started to use ear plugs.. Try it, you will hate your environment less ;)
I see what you mean, what happened to you is classical for risky topics. I think you have to make a fundamental decision: To you trust more in yourself or in your supervisor. And: How far do you want to go for your topic.
To tell you a bit about me: I had a similar experience but much smaller and less risky: I had worked a lot on a draft for my master thesis and went to my professor to show him and he said: "That is too risky and too unconventional, Prof X tried this already and in my opinion he failed with this approach. Stick to "our" subject." I did what he said, but after my master degree I left this university. Now I am doing PhD with this Professor X about a multidisciplinary "risky" topic and it is just GREAT. I loved the stuff he worked on, even if my former prof talked about failing.
Many scientists told me that in their opinion it is not the best idea and that I should go more traditional paths. But my supervisor told me he stands behind me 100 percent. It is a struggle and challenge every day but that is exactly what I need.
Do not feel bad: You did not waste time, it is never a waste of time to try new things.
In your place I would first stay where you are and work with your supervisor, but try to make contact to some profs in psychology and talk to them. If you stick with your idea you should also have a psychology supervisor, them you have the foundation that is lacking in this moment.
Don't give up to quickly! I do not think one can be "too" ambitious. The PhD shapes your scientific profile, so if you are not a conservative researcher you should not act like one. Of course this is only my opinion because I am exactly like that.
Don't worry about it and keep looking. Before i started to look for a supervisor I talked to the father of a friend who is professor how the procedure of applying for phd works and what if i am rejected. He said it is common, people get rejected for all kind of reasons and there is no need to feel bad about it. Before i started i made a list (4 or 5 ) of profs i want to contact, so when i get the first rejection, i immediately contact the next. Don't apply just for a university without supervisor, he or she is a very important factor for your success and the fun in your work. Contact the people, write them what is your idea and meet them. I heard horrible stories of phd-students who had troubles with their supervisors.
Could you also imagine to go abroad? That gives you much more options.
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